Everyday
When one of you earns much more: getting out of the awkwardness
The problem is almost never the money itself. It's the imbalance of freedom it creates, that nobody dares mention.
What fifty-fifty actually produces
Two incomes, 5,400 and 3,000 CHF. Shared costs of 2,800 CHF.
| Each pays in | 1,400.— |
| Left for the first | 4,000.— |
| Left for the second | 1,600.— |
| Gap in freedom | 2.5 × |
The split looks fair and it isn't: one of them can say yes to a weekend away, the other can't. Over years, that imbalance weighs more than any argument about groceries.
Three possible arrangements
Proportional
Each pays in the same percentage of their income. Simple, measurable, and it restores the balance of what's left.
Equal leftovers
You calculate backwards: each keeps the same personal amount, everything above goes to the shared pot. More radical, very clear.
Assigned bills
One takes the rent, the other the groceries and utilities. Less precise, but sometimes easier to accept than a percentage.
What doesn't work
The higher earner « treating » case by case. It turns every expense into a request, and the relationship into a negotiation.
The question isn't « who pays what ». It is « how much does each of us have left afterwards ». A system is fair when the two answers are close.
The situations that complicate everything
- Part-time chosen for the children. The income drops for work that benefits both. Proportional alone doesn't compensate for that — it has to be said explicitly.
- One of you is repaying debt. A student or consumer loan cuts into what's available. It is a personal cost, but it changes the maths and deserves to be said.
- The savings gap. If one can put 800 aside and the other nothing, wealth diverges year after year, even with costs shared fairly.
How to talk about it
Pick a moment — not in the middle of an argument about one purchase. Put the numbers on the table: incomes, shared costs, what each has left. The numbers do the work: most people accept proportional as soon as they see the gap in what's left to live on.
The three basic systems are covered in budgeting as a couple.
Common questions
How do we split costs when one earns more?
In proportion to income: each pays the same percentage into the shared pot. It is the only system that equalises what each has left.
Is fifty-fifty really unfair?
On unequal incomes, yes. With 5,400 and 3,000 and 2,800 of costs split in half, one has 2.5 times more than the other to live on.
Do we have to tell each other our salaries?
For a proportional split, yes — that is the condition. Without the numbers, you are arguing about impressions.
What if one works part-time for the children?
Proportional isn't enough: the income drops for work that benefits both. That has to be compensated explicitly, not implicitly.
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